Last Christmas
by SSAEmilyHotchner
Summary: Oneshot. Set in my Fade To Black universe. It's Christmas time, Emily's favorite time of the year, but she can't help but feel as if she has ruined her family's spirit. Takes place after her 45th birthday - around Chapter 14 of FTB. May contain spoilers.


**Author's Note: After finishing Fade To Black, I desperately needed something to pick me up and get me back into the brilliance of Christmas spirit. I can only hope this full-of-fluff fic will do the same for you. If you really think about it, the title can be interpreted one of two ways...but we won't dwell on that now. Enjoy! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds or any of its characters.**

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><p>As a winter brightness shone in from outside and the heater kicked in, Hotch propped himself up on his elbows and looked around the room. Everything was still; based on the silence radiating throughout the house, he figured the children weren't awake yet. That in itself was a miracle. He smiled as his gaze travelled to Emily. Beautiful, sleeping Emily.<p>

Pressing a gentle kiss to her jaw, he attempted to wake her. "Hey," he murmured against her skin. "Good morning, Sleeping Beauty."

Emily just groaned. "Go back to sleep, Aaron," she managed, her eyes still firmly shut.

Hotch chuckled warmly. "But it's _Christmas_."

"I know," she sighed indifferently. "Can _I_ go back to sleep?"

His expression softened. "You know I'd let you on any other day. But I want to show you something." He glanced out the window, smiling.

At that, Emily moaned and forced her eyes open. "This better be good."

"It is." Taking her small hand in his much larger one, Hotch guided her out of bed and drew the blinds. "You know how, last night, you told me you wanted it to snow?"

"Hmmm?"

"Well, I put in a call," he teased, motioning outside. The entire landscape was blanketed in white. "What do you think?"

Slowly, a tender smile stretched Emily's full red lips. _"Oh my God,"_ she said in a breathless whisper. "It's…" she shook her head, "everything's so gorgeous." Turning to him, she wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a teasing glance, her eyes sparkling. "You did this for me?"

He rested his forehead against hers. "All for you, baby." His eyes fell closed as she let her lips lazily touch his. "I got you something else, too."

Emily shot him her most chiding look. "You shouldn't have."

"I'm still disgusted with myself for forgetting your birthday," he answered simply, reaching behind her to find something in the top drawer of his dresser.

"Aaron, that was _last month_."

Hotch silenced her with a kiss. "Just open it." At that, he brandished a long, rectangular shaped box, elegantly wrapped with sapphire blue paper and a stark, silver bow.

Her intrigued gaze locked with his, Emily smoothly pulled the ribbon off and peeled away the tape holding the ends of paper together, exposing the box to her curious fingers.

Slowly, she pulled off the whitish top, a gasp catching in her throat at what she saw. There, lying in iridescent, gauze-like material, was a long-stemmed, hand-blown glass lily, its stem a brilliant green and its petals specked with slivers of red and gold. The lily looked so fragile, yet so pure…so beautiful.

Her eyes shining, Emily took a long look at it, her fingers dancing along the glass, before carefully setting the box on the surface of the dresser and wrapping her arms around Hotch's waist in a tight hug. "Thank you," she breathed against his jaw. "I absolutely love it."

Hotch smiled happily, his heart warming at her statement. "I'm glad. Jack and I saw it as we were window-shopping last week. Let's just say that the window-shopping quickly turned into _actual_ shopping." They shared a quiet laugh. "And…" Seemingly from thin air, he drew out one last present. Pressing a quick kiss to her lips, he said, "Close your eyes."

"Aaron…"

Moving behind her, he gently placed a chain around her neck, fastening the clasp at the base of her nape. Emily's eyes still closed, he directed her towards their mirror, his smile growing as he whispered her to look and her expression softened exponentially. Her hand rose to tenderly touch the charm, an ornately designed _Open Hearts_ angel with studded diamonds in the wings.

"You always said you wanted one," Hotch said quietly, his breath tickling the shell of her ear. "I couldn't _not_ get it for you." A beat of silence passed. "Emily?"

She was crying when he spun her around. "Aaron," she muttered, her cheeks flushed pink, "I want you to take it back and return it."

"What?" he immediately said. "Why on earth would I do that?"

Emily shook her head furiously. "We've already spent so much; on clinical visits, on pharmaceutical products and additional medicine, on my wig, on _chemotherapy _and radiation…" She hung her head sadly. "We don't have the money for this."

Propping a finger under her chin to raise her gaze to his, Hotch looked at her sternly. "Pardon my French, but that's bullshit and you know it," he said softly, rebuking her with a serious tone but laughing eyes. "Look me in the eyes and tell me the gifts you got me don't add up to the gifts I got you. If you spent less money, I'll return the necklace. But if you spent more - and I know you did, because you always do - then you're going to keep it."

Emily huffed, knowing he had a point and turning away in result. "Fine," she eventually said. "You win, Mr. Hotchner."

"You know I love it when you say that, Mrs. Hotchner."

She couldn't help it; she smiled, craning her neck to give him a long, slow kiss. "But thank you. You've been ridiculously thoughtful and I really appreciate it."

He dried her eyes gently, smiling in return. "You're more than welcome. Now give me my gifts."

Laughing to herself, Emily pulled away. "They're under the tree. Wait a second and I'll get them for you."

"Hurry back," he teased.

She did, reentering the room mere seconds later with two tastefully decorated boxes in her hands. "Here you are. Open the larger one first."

He shot her a darkly handsome grin. "Yes, ma'am." Tearing the paper with methodical precision, the grin donning his lips widened at he saw what his present was. "Really, Emily? Wow, thank you," he said gratefully, turning over the heavy bottle of expensive cologne. "I was just about to run out. It's my favorite."

"Mine, too," she revealed, watching as he pulled out the bottle of aftershave as well. She loved it when he smelled good. And he always did. "Now the small one," she said eagerly, her gaze on the unopened box in his hands.

Hotch ran his gun-coarse fingers over the paper slowly, making a guess as to what was inside before actually opening it. "Oh, sweetheart…"

"Do you like it?"

He was already pulling the watch from the box and fastening it around his wrist, smiling at the feel of the cold metal against his warm skin. "Of course I do," he smiled, pulling her into a passionate embrace. "But you're such a hypocrite," he said into her ear, kissing the skin underneath the lobe and chuckling as she shivered beneath his touch. "So, sure, I spent a couple hundred dollars on your gifts. This watch by itself is easily a thousand." Hotch buried his face into the crook of her neck. "But I _love_ it. Thank you so much."

Emily caressed his cheek slowly, a faraway look in her eyes. "You're welcome."

They stood there, wrapped up in each other's arms, for a long moment, before Hotch let out a sigh, sensing something was on his wife's mind. "You okay?" he murmured.

"Oh…yeah. I'm fine," she said unconvincingly, shooting him a half smile at his disbelieving look. "I was just thinking," she eventually said.

"About?"

"L-Last Christmas…"

Hotch shut his eyes. He knew what was coming. "What about last Christmas, Em?"

She shrugged it off nonchalantly, even though no part of the subject matter was anything near nonchalant. "Exactly one year ago, we were perfectly happy," she said almost inaudibly. "Have…have I ruined that this year?" She hadn't meant to say the last part aloud, but somehow, it just slipped past her lips, drawing a shocked expression from Hotch.

"No," he assured immediately. "No, honey, you've done nothing but make this Christmas amazing for the kids. For me," he said against her temple. "We're still perfectly happy," he insisted.

"Are we?" Emily persisted stubbornly. "Aaron, you haven't been sleeping lately." _I would know_, she thought wryly, remembering her countless, _endlessly_ restless nights. "Avery's been touchy with everyone around her," she continued. "And I got a call from Jack's teacher right before the kids were released for winter break. Did you know he got into a fight with someone in his class?"

Hotch's eyebrows rose to his hairline. A fight? _His son_ in a_ fight_? "He did? With who? What happened?"

Emily just nodded. "Granted, it was with that pesky Jacobs boy," she said matter-of-factly, her heart pounding. "But…" she sighed heavily, "a week ago, Brett had asked Jack what we were doing for Christmas. Before Jack could answer, Brett apparently said something along the lines of 'Oh right, you can't do much since your mom's in Heaven and your dad's always busy. What about your step-mom? Is she going to be around until Christmas or will she be gone, too?'" Emily ran a hand over her face in a mixture of pain and exhaustion. "Jack pushed him to the ground and kicked him."

Hotch was speechless. One the one hand, he couldn't blame Jack; he would have pummeled the kid into the ground, too, regardless of the consequences. _You just don't say things like that!_

But on the other hand...

"Tell me I haven't made things worse, Aaron."

He felt his heart wrench as he saw Emily's face tighten in worry. "No…sweetheart, if anything, you've made us _stronger_. Life has its struggles; the kids need to know that, but they also need to know that the struggles can be overcome." He took her hand in his, turning it onto its palm and tracing the fine lines he found there. "You've taught me that. You've shown me that love can really conquer anything, and for that, I'm eternally grateful. You've not only made me stronger, but you've made me into a better man." He returned her questioning gaze with a loving one. "I'll talk to Jack tomorrow, alright?"

When he saw the beginning of yet another sheen of tears glistening in her expressive brown eyes, Hotch tugged a little on her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "But hey…how about now, we make a New Year's resolution?"

Emily gave him a shaky, watery smile. "Even if it's not the New Year yet?"

"The way I look at it, the earlier you know what you want to fix, the better." He smiled back, placing a hand on Emily's arm and rubbing the skin there comfortingly. "I'll start. My resolution is to…make sure to stay by your side every waking minute and make sure you understand that you'll never be alone in this endeavor you're taking on."

Emily shook her head. "You already do that, Aaron," she said softly, absentmindedly touching the silver chain that now rested around her neck. "Pick something else."

"Alright, alright," he conceded playfully. "Then, my New Year's resolution is to be more careful about what I eat in order to keep my cholesterol and blood pressure down, and maximize my time with you and the kids. That good enough for you?" he teased.

"It is," she said, taking his hand from her arm and linking their fingers together. "My New Year's resolution will be to…to completely recover over the next couple months. I mean, I know that, even after my chemo is over, I'd still have to wait to hit the five-year mark without relapse, and even then, five years is not definitive, but -"

"But it's a wonderful resolution," Hotch interrupted, leaning in to kiss her cheek. "One that I approve of," he whispered. He had tried to be playful, but all Emily could see in his eyes was pure, unadulterated love.

One _perfect _second of silence passed in the bedroom, snow falling softly outside while husband and wife stood face to face, heart to heart.

Then…

"I guess it's time to wake the children," Hotch said, still not tearing his gaze away from the beautiful woman in front of him.

"I guess so," she repeated in affirmation, her voice somewhat breathless. "Merry Christmas, Aaron. And thank you. For everything."

Stealing one last kiss, Hotch smiled against her lips. "Merry Christmas, Emily. May we have many more to come."

"May we have many more to come," she prayed in agreement.

**THE END.**

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Well? What do you think? Please leave me a review, if you have the time; they're the best possible Christmas gifts imaginable, and I treasure each and every one. Thanks in advance! And have a wonderful Christmas.<strong>

**Also, if you're curious as to what Emily's necklace looks like, simply Google 'open hearts angel diamond necklace.' It's quite pretty. :)**


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